Nathan JenkinsUKCP

I work from a queer-affirmative perspective. In therapy, there is room to explore your sexuality, gender and desires, and what they mean to you. You might be finding your footing in your identity, thinking about how you relate to others, or looking for a sense of belonging. Living in a world that often fails to affirm queer life can mean facing rejection and isolation, and taking on shame about parts of yourself. Those experiences can stay with us and shape how we feel about ourselves and how close we feel able to get to others. We can untangle this together.

You might also be coming to therapy for something that has little to do with being queer, and want to know that this part of your life will be understood. You can expect to be listened to empathically and non-judgementally, working with the reality of modern queer life, not at odds with it.

My practice is sex positive, kink-aware and poly-aware. As part of my MA in psychotherapy, I researched how therapists work with kink, looking at the assumptions and biases that can come into the room and how they affect what clients feel able to share. I am registered on the Kink and Polyamory Aware Professionals Directory (KAP).

Kink and BDSM have often been pathologised in more traditional forms of therapy, a stance that can be both damaging and shaming. If you’ve come to expect that response, it can be hard to speak freely about what you enjoy, what you’re curious about, or what feels complicated. In our sessions, you can talk about your desires and experiences without having to defend them.

Your desires and journey with kink give an insight into who you are as a person, maybe even who you want to be. If kink is something you want to explore, we can talk about what it means to you, how it fits into your relationships, and any questions you have about risk and consent. You can also bring it up as part of the wider picture of your life and spend our time on whatever brought you to therapy.

Relationships can take many forms. For some, that means building romantic or sexual connections with more than one person. I work with people whose relationships sit outside the framework and expectations of monogamy, such as open relationships, polyamorous relationships with or without a hierarchy, and other forms of ethical non-monogamy (ENM). You might be thinking about opening a relationship, finding your footing in one that has recently changed, or coming to therapy for something unrelated and wanting to know that the relationships in your life will be understood.

There are still misconceptions and stigma around polyamory and non-monogamy, and those biases can find their way into the therapy room. If you feel you have to guard what you say or defend your choices, it can be difficult to talk openly about what brought you to therapy. If your relationships are what you want to talk about, we can look at how they work for you: what feels nourishing, where things feel difficult, and what you want or need from the people you’re close to.

My practice is sex positive, kink-aware and poly-aware.

I am registered on the Kink and Polyamory Aware Professionals Directory (KAP).

Sex positivity holds strong the knowledge that your sexual desires and ways of having (or wanting to have) sex can be a joyous exploration and way of growth. Societal shame around sex has thrown many obstacles in this course, and we unfortunately absorb and internalise some of that shame into our sex and relationships. Sadly, our story of sex is often not one of joy but of struggle, confusion and pain. Difficult and traumatic sexual experiences can hold power over the present and be an obstacle in how you form sexual and loving relationships. I believe that the therapeutic relationship can be an opportunity to heal and to grow into who you really are.

Loss is an inevitable part of being alive and has a huge impact on all of us. When you lose someone close to you, even though you have an awareness that grief can be a battle, your own grief can be startlingly unfamiliar and scary. It can be alarming to see yourself suddenly not be able to cope with everyday activities, or lose meaning in what used to give you so much joy. The loss of someone can even bring back previous losses that occurred many year ago, losses that you thought had settled and been put to rest.

As much as bereavement happens to people all the time, you may feel lonely in your grief. Others around you may not know what to say or what to do. Your work and family commitments may now be at odds with how you feel and what you need. Your bereavement may also come at a time where you were already struggling, and now this has landed on top of that heavy weight. I believe that having a space to explore how you are feeling is crucial during this time. Your grief needs care and attention.